Friday, March 21, 2008
went to official match on wed..19/3..
Yishun Town VS Unity..wow..i make a mess out of everything..keep pointing the wrong direction..then very blur..dunno where to run and if i shd take the ball..the pace very fast..make me also pant..hai..lucky the other referee VERY GD..i receive a LOT of assistance from him..yup..A LOT..cos i screw up almost EVERYTHING...
that day after went to play bball..say wat gt training..morning i go pay the NIE $$..cos need to take the English Entrance test due to my HORRIBLE eng..the place like ISOLATED..no bus anything..hai..somemore have to go there again later to take the test..that day only pay $$ there..dun even know if i will pass..then later my fren ask me go out..go back same place again..but nvm..miss my fren a lot..haven seen them LONG time..after that late for the so-called training..reached at abt 8 pm or so..but the bball court like BUSTING with pp..how to train like that..go there like do nothing..only play with those boy-boy..SIANZ..lucky my other fren was there too..she very PRO..somemore A level score 3 H2 "A"s..wow..Bball n studies pro..clap for her..
These day very sianz..dunno wat i wan to do..i mean i got MANY things to do..but all dun feel like doing..feel like a useless pp..some more i quit my admin job le..now even the other job also dun call me..hai..this month really no $$..study also half half..i dunno wat 2 do now..HANGING..nt up nt down..cannot shut down also cannot restart..i dun like e feeling of being useless..
now everything is like a new start 4 me..think back to square 1 le..No la..i dun feel that my 2 yrs are wasted..those are experiences that make me grow up and think fate have opened another route for me..for me to explore n learn..nearly reaching 20s..but i dun feel old yet..cos many things are still new to me..esp at this pt of time..maybe i not fitted to JC la..anyway things are over..i have to face up to others things..growing up come with more responsibilities...think everyone have to learn to cope with them..i admit that i am a very timid person and i dun like to take risk..but some things simply cant be done without courage..i run away too many times n away from too many things..now all the decision are open to me..n it is all up to me to choose..i hate decision making cos i know i will hate myself if i make e wrong choice..but everyone have to make..i choose the JC route myself..think this decision may be wrong..cos i ended up walking the longer way..but NO..i dun regret it..cos this is the route i chosen..so i will not run away..since all already been done..n no use crying over spilt milk..i not not a baby le..i cannot still depend on my parents and blamed it on them when things turned ugly..i have to faced up to reality and i will..so now i have the time to think wat exactly I want for MYSELF..i used to follow wat my sis do..she is my role model..i do wat she do..from pri to sec to JC..i go where she goes..but rite now i cant do that anymore..think that is the real reson why i felt sooo lost..cos all i did in the past is to copy..i like my sis and i enjoy doing wat she did..but now things are different..i dunno wat i wan too..lol..but is ok..life is like that rite..u fall then u pick up..the moment u give up..all is lost..BTW..ytd i buy the first 4D in my life..lol..not bad la..just buy small one..$2 only..just trying my luck..lol..now everything OK..lets go back to NEVER SAY DIE!! JIA YOU!!!
