I feel very guilty today..really very guilty and sad..it was all my mistake..all due to my own carelessness..everyone is trying to help me and cover up for me..but all my fault..there is nothing other people can do for me..they helped me enough..wat shd i do..so useless..i very angry with myself..cos this is not the first time i made the mistake..if it was the first time..i shd learn from it..but the prob is that i keep making the same mistake..today the kid in my sch fall..all my fault..i was holding his hand..but i walked too fast..i shd have consider his speed..not my own..ended up he accidently bitted his lips and there is BLOOD..i am very SCARED..damn scared..i dunno wat to do..i tot i was 19..near 20..shd be able to handle..but i was WRONG..very wrong..i totally dunno wat to do..i am lost..my kids cry very loud..he must be in huge pain..all because of my carelessness..my mom always commented abt me not being 细心..i dun bother to care abt such little things and it IS these little things that made things worst..i am upset abt myself..ended up i still have to do a accident report..this is only my first week of work..not even 2 weeks and i gt into such hot soup..all my own fault..wat made me scared most is 2mr..i scare that my kid will hate me..cos i put him in danger..i scare that he no longer trust me..i scare that i could no longer bond with him..i scare that his parent will be dissapointed in me..theres so many things going in my head..all my fault..i shd be sorry..i shd be guilty..i am just nothing..i dun wannaa go work tomorrow..i am eaten up by my guilt..wat to do..i am scare..
later that day i just simply zoned out..there is no use of me guilty..thats not going help my kid get better..i shall always rmb this lesson..this shall be the first lesson in my profession..i will rmb it forever..learn from it..jia you xin ling..jia you..now is not the time to dwell in misery..i cant run forever..scare also no use..just GO for it..dun regret it..LEARN from it..
LA~mour at 5:08 AM
Things that i like..
archives..
FRIENDS..
the joys..
